“LETTING GO” OF YOUR CHILD AS THEY BECOME AN ADULT

One of the more challenging epochs for a parent who is actively and lovingly engaged in their child’s emotional growth and development is when their child enters young adulthood. As a parent, having one’s child “graduate” into adulthood emotionally healthy and independent is a source of great pride and personal satisfaction – and of course brings with it a feeling of tremendous relief! There are numerous issues and bumps in the road that arise along this shared journey, most of which relate to the dynamic tension that arises as one’s child begins to assert his or her independence, often bringing about life events that fall short of the ideals that we hold out for them, or that they hold out for themselves.

When our adult children suffer loss. A poignant story of faith and trust in the midst of tremendous suffering.

Rebecca Mutz wanted to be a mom ever since she could remember. Hear Rebecca tell how her dreams came true in a labor and delivery room in a small Colorado hospital. When baby Molly didn't cry for four minutes after delivery, however, a new mother's worst fears began to materialize
FamilyLife Today - FamilyLife.com

SIGN-UP Wake up Deborah!

If you want to "sign up" as a Deborah (moms - biological, spiritual or adoptive- who pray daily for 15 min for their 'children'). Please send me an e-mail at edwards@omsinternational.org with your name, address and e-mail.

God bless you! It's our time, it's our turn!

Helping Adult Children Face Personal Loss

FamilyLife Today - FamilyLife.com
This is such a poignant testimony of how to journey with our children as they face tremendous losses of their own.

Dealing with your Adult Child's Struggles

Dealing with your Adult Child's Struggles
by Stephen Bly
When your adult child can't seem to get his act together and take responsibility for his life, some common reactions surface. This article helps you how to deal with them.

Coffee Can Wait

Coffee Can Wait
This is a great article about expectations regarding a daughter in law... very poignant.

Check this website...

I’m including a great website that deals with parenting adult children. Hope you find it helpful. Laura
“You’ve spent your life teaching, training and protecting your child; now it’s time to ‘give him wings.’ For many parents, the shift from being the primary influence in a child’s life to releasing him to adulthood isn’t easy. Hopefully you’ve been preparing him for independence from the start. Now that he’s on his own — finding his niche, building a career, marrying, becoming a parent — you’re no longer his authority, but friend. By setting healthy boundaries, you can enjoy this new role, while offering the love, guidance and insight only a parent can provide."

http://www.troubledwith.com/Relationships/ParentsAdultChildren.cfm (just click on the title)

Letting go of adult children video

Letting go of adult children
There will be a short commercial and then the segment. Very interesting. Our generation is often referred to as "hovering parents," and it seems to be true.

Empty Nest - the beginning

I remember having the following dream. I was in a long line. Not uncommon for where we lived at the time (Brazil). It was a long line, and I was too busy with the kids, our marriage, ministry and life to have the energy to even ask what the line was for. So, we lived our lives as the line moved along. All of a sudden (it seemed), I was next in line. I remember asking, "what's the line for?" The answer felt like a punch in the stomach: this is the empty nest line. You are next.

I'm someone who likes to please people and hate to inconvenience people, so, in my dream, I apologized saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't belong in this line..." The person didn't even wait for me to finish explaining how I really was in the wrong line.... all the person said, is "you are next, come on lady....." In tears, I was next in line and that's how my nest was emptied.

I did not welcome the empty nest with open arms. Even though Jeff and I love hanging out and kept our marriage on the front burner throughout their growing up years, I so enjoyed family night, Sunday dinners at our place followed by either playing games or watching games.

I don't cry easy. I cry on the inside if you can understand that. But, tears came easily. A grieving. A sense of tremendous loss. A 'forever' type loss. Even when they come to visit, it will never be family night again, it will never be the dating again... I did not like this at all. Yet, I could do nothing about it.

The one thing that brought me comfort was a verse "As for God, his way is perfect... and [He]makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:32, NIV

I chose to believe that. I'd remind myself of that truth. Trusting that He makes my way perfect. In many cultures, the kids don't leave at 18. They live at home till they marry. But, it was not our case, and our kids were ready to embrace a new phase in their lives. I remember when I was 18, so I understand. We rejoiced with them. My husband didn't suffer as much as I did. He wanted more time with me. But, this mamma's heart took a while in getting used to it.

As for God, His way IS perfect and He makes my way perfect.

Welcome

I've always loved being a mom. Having family night on Thursday nights when we ordered pizza and sat on the living room floor to eat it - picnic style- and then played age appropriate games. We began with Candy Land, Shoots and Ladders, Uno, Dominoes, Sorry, Canadian Golf, Count Down, Clue, Mexican Train, Taboo.... We also watched half hour comedies - from the Costy Show to Full House to Everybody Loves Raymond and then, as the girls aged, graduated to West Wing....

We also loved the "dates" we had with the girls. Each month (ok, so it wasn't every single month), we each took a girl on a date. Quality, individual time. The rule was that nothing was purchased except for a snack. Jeff would walk hand in hand with them, pull the chair prior to them sitting.... the goal was for them not to be "touch needy" and have high and healthy expectation on how they can (and should) be treated. Time with Mom also involved holding hands (which we do to this day even as adults), window shopping, and having a freshly squeezed juice somewhere.

Now they are grown and gone. Healthy, strong young women.

Our older daughter is now married and creating memories of her own. Our younger daugther is a freshman in college and is already thinking of graduate studies.

We are trying to understand how we relate to them. We are in-laws now. I'll be sharing more about that too.

Anyway.... welcome... I hope you enjoy it and journey along with us.