Empty Nest - the beginning

I remember having the following dream. I was in a long line. Not uncommon for where we lived at the time (Brazil). It was a long line, and I was too busy with the kids, our marriage, ministry and life to have the energy to even ask what the line was for. So, we lived our lives as the line moved along. All of a sudden (it seemed), I was next in line. I remember asking, "what's the line for?" The answer felt like a punch in the stomach: this is the empty nest line. You are next.

I'm someone who likes to please people and hate to inconvenience people, so, in my dream, I apologized saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't belong in this line..." The person didn't even wait for me to finish explaining how I really was in the wrong line.... all the person said, is "you are next, come on lady....." In tears, I was next in line and that's how my nest was emptied.

I did not welcome the empty nest with open arms. Even though Jeff and I love hanging out and kept our marriage on the front burner throughout their growing up years, I so enjoyed family night, Sunday dinners at our place followed by either playing games or watching games.

I don't cry easy. I cry on the inside if you can understand that. But, tears came easily. A grieving. A sense of tremendous loss. A 'forever' type loss. Even when they come to visit, it will never be family night again, it will never be the dating again... I did not like this at all. Yet, I could do nothing about it.

The one thing that brought me comfort was a verse "As for God, his way is perfect... and [He]makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:32, NIV

I chose to believe that. I'd remind myself of that truth. Trusting that He makes my way perfect. In many cultures, the kids don't leave at 18. They live at home till they marry. But, it was not our case, and our kids were ready to embrace a new phase in their lives. I remember when I was 18, so I understand. We rejoiced with them. My husband didn't suffer as much as I did. He wanted more time with me. But, this mamma's heart took a while in getting used to it.

As for God, His way IS perfect and He makes my way perfect.