Empty Nest - the beginning

I remember having the following dream. I was in a long line. Not uncommon for where we lived at the time (Brazil). It was a long line, and I was too busy with the kids, our marriage, ministry and life to have the energy to even ask what the line was for. So, we lived our lives as the line moved along. All of a sudden (it seemed), I was next in line. I remember asking, "what's the line for?" The answer felt like a punch in the stomach: this is the empty nest line. You are next.

I'm someone who likes to please people and hate to inconvenience people, so, in my dream, I apologized saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't belong in this line..." The person didn't even wait for me to finish explaining how I really was in the wrong line.... all the person said, is "you are next, come on lady....." In tears, I was next in line and that's how my nest was emptied.

I did not welcome the empty nest with open arms. Even though Jeff and I love hanging out and kept our marriage on the front burner throughout their growing up years, I so enjoyed family night, Sunday dinners at our place followed by either playing games or watching games.

I don't cry easy. I cry on the inside if you can understand that. But, tears came easily. A grieving. A sense of tremendous loss. A 'forever' type loss. Even when they come to visit, it will never be family night again, it will never be the dating again... I did not like this at all. Yet, I could do nothing about it.

The one thing that brought me comfort was a verse "As for God, his way is perfect... and [He]makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:32, NIV

I chose to believe that. I'd remind myself of that truth. Trusting that He makes my way perfect. In many cultures, the kids don't leave at 18. They live at home till they marry. But, it was not our case, and our kids were ready to embrace a new phase in their lives. I remember when I was 18, so I understand. We rejoiced with them. My husband didn't suffer as much as I did. He wanted more time with me. But, this mamma's heart took a while in getting used to it.

As for God, His way IS perfect and He makes my way perfect.

Welcome

I've always loved being a mom. Having family night on Thursday nights when we ordered pizza and sat on the living room floor to eat it - picnic style- and then played age appropriate games. We began with Candy Land, Shoots and Ladders, Uno, Dominoes, Sorry, Canadian Golf, Count Down, Clue, Mexican Train, Taboo.... We also watched half hour comedies - from the Costy Show to Full House to Everybody Loves Raymond and then, as the girls aged, graduated to West Wing....

We also loved the "dates" we had with the girls. Each month (ok, so it wasn't every single month), we each took a girl on a date. Quality, individual time. The rule was that nothing was purchased except for a snack. Jeff would walk hand in hand with them, pull the chair prior to them sitting.... the goal was for them not to be "touch needy" and have high and healthy expectation on how they can (and should) be treated. Time with Mom also involved holding hands (which we do to this day even as adults), window shopping, and having a freshly squeezed juice somewhere.

Now they are grown and gone. Healthy, strong young women.

Our older daughter is now married and creating memories of her own. Our younger daugther is a freshman in college and is already thinking of graduate studies.

We are trying to understand how we relate to them. We are in-laws now. I'll be sharing more about that too.

Anyway.... welcome... I hope you enjoy it and journey along with us.